Sunday, January 29, 2012

4 Hilarious Dog Gifts That Should Be Burned

By Regina T. Roby


If you've had dogs for many years like we have, you've certainly encountered a few pretty ridiculous gifts made for our four legged friends. Ideas such as the dog thong or the fish walker regularly come up and I've got to think about what kind of world do we live in where there is such energy put into creating such products? Of course, most of these types of gifts were created in the spirit of amusement and frivolity, but I must admit that there are those that cross the limit of amusingly peculiar to just plain weird. Let's take a look at some contemporary dog items that have crossed the line.

Nail Polish for Dogs

Alright I'm aware that adoring pet owners enjoy spending time spoiling their pets, but I see the idea of dog nail polish somewhat weird. Clearly intended to be an adornment for your dog's nails, this product doesn't even make an attempt at persuading anyone that there is any useful benefit. At the very least products like nail caps for cats have a purpose; they are vibrant plastic caps that prevent cats from scratching people or furniture. Granted there's nothing wrong with color for the sake of it, but isn't there a more useful means of spending time together with your pet like playing a game or training a brand new skill? Yeah, Doggy Nail Polish receives a 2 on a weirdness scale of 5.

Robotic Massage Glove

Dedicated pet owner's cherish their dogs and it's uncommon to find anyone who isn't constantly petting, or touching their pet in some manner. In the end, it's part of the activity that seals the bond between a pet and its master, right? Well if you opt for the Vibrating Massage Glove you essentially throw that bond right out of the window. A creepy automatic massaging device built to be worn on one's hand, it takes only a couple of seconds to appreciate precisely how bad of a thought this system is. Better yet, you don't need to bother about providing your dog with a peaceful, relaxing massage since this device generates a racket that would set any animal on edge. The Robotic Massage has earned a 3 on the weirdness scale of 5

Poo Freeze

It's challenging to discuss Poop Freeze without degrading into the sort of humor that a thirteen year old boy would enjoy, but I'll try. In short, Poop Freeze is a product meant to make cleaning up behind your dog less difficult and I think that it is certainly strange. Frankly, I think that anyone who purchases this kind of product to begin with probably should not have a dog after all. Dogs are enjoyable, bold animals that get into all kinds of things that may cause them to make a mess and if you're not equipped to clean up after them then perhaps they may not be the best pet for you. Additionally, it's bad enough standing out in the park clutching your waste bag waiting for Fido to do his business. Can you imagine what it would look like if after the deed is completed you have to freeze your dog's poop before placing it in a bag?! Poop Freeze is a strong 4 on a weirdness scale of 5.


The Dog High Chair

Up to now we've observed some pretty strange pet gifts, but the Animal High Chair has them all beat. Created to enable your pet to join you at the dinner table, the Pet High Chair reinforces behavior that I've been working to discourage for the past eight years! Closely resembling a toddler's booster seat that fastens to a table top, this product gives your pet table top access during meals. The product description gives me the chills: "Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits your dog or cat to accompany you at the dinner table..." as it recommends, the person that buys one of these surely needs a little social companionship. The Pet High Chair hits the high mark with a 5 on the weirdness scale of 5.

Falling all over our pets and giving them wacky gifts is a god-given right of every dog owner, but these four products have crossed the line from odd to just plain stupid.




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